Grass

Maybe I should clear the air. I'm talking about the kind of grass that grows in the yard. Not the kind that grows in some little cleared spot in the woods or in somebody's garage under $5000.00 worth of gro-lites. Well perhaps I should qualify it even further to my yard and leave Rodrigo's yard out of the equation.
Anyhow the basis for this entry is I noticed an advertisement for "Realistic Synthetic Grass". Wow, I think my head just exploded. My thoughts included all sorts of alternate universes and possible product lines that I could invest in. "Realistic Counterfeit Money" springs to the forefront. I mean, really, what other kind of appearance should synthetic grass take? Outside of some group of Italian designers pushing polkadots or bold stripes what kind of "Unrealistic Synthetic Grass" would you want in front of your typical american colonial or early federalist house?
Perhaps I have just outlived my time and slid into some sort of timewarp where Lady GaGa's Home Design company is the biggest on the planet. I suppose I should just shut up and buy stock in Crayola and sell Home Depot before it's too late.

Empty Heads

OK, I want to know if anybody out there thinks Al Roker is a bonifide weatherman? It turns out he has never taken any courses in anything to do with the weather. All he ever wanted to be was an announcer. So that is what he does. He announces the weather while reading a script from a teleprompter. He really don't know squat about the weather or being a weatherman.

I'm thinking you might see where I am going with this. At least most anyone with an 8th grade education and at least a 2 digit IQ should see this coming.

OK, I want to know if anybody out there thinks Obama is a bonifide president? As it happens everything in the first paragraph applies here too. Yep, we have elected a talking head whose only talent is the ability to read a teleprompter to the highest office in the land.

I guess we deserve it. We let some actor who can't pick out his own clothes, stay sober for seven days in a row, or stay married for over 2 months, tell us what to eat, what to wear, and what to drive. We need to make potential political electees take a SAT test. One where they have no support staff and no props or phone up lifelines. The questions should be based on the kinds of things they are trying to represent and things they might have to govern. You know, basic business things like supply costs, net profits, economic policy...things like that. No pass, no play !! I'm just tired of elected officials with no qualifications other than a plesant voice and the ability to read from a teleprompter have any power over the money that I work for or the life I choose to lead.

The More Things Change, The More I Hate 'Em

Just about every time I get to where I am comfortable with something they go and change it. Take Facebook for example. I liked the old look and feel. I was able to navigate around without much thought to driving, just enjoying the view. Suddenly I have to pay attention to where I am going and how I am getting there so I cannot pay much attention to the surroundings.
When did we lose sight of "If it Ain't Broken Don't Fix It!!" ??

Summertime - Bar-B-Que'd Bermuda Grass

Well gang, I am so sorry I griped about the cold weather last Winter. I apologize to whatever weather god is listening and to all my friends (both of 'em). I'm sure the endless heat this summer is all my fault. I swear that if I knew somebody heard me and had the power to respond I would have toned my bitching down. My lawn is now a crispy critter. I don't need to mow. I just walk around and the grass breaks off at the root and makes a little "Scritchhh" sound.
My dog is doing all he can to keep his favorite plants alive, but he has a limited supply of ammunition and in his delusional state, he thinks he can keep up.
If this stuff were edible I might not be quite so angry. Heck, if the heat equally affected plants I like and those I have to pull out I would just nod my head and go with it. However weeds seem to have a tolerance for sunshime that is not shared by the $39.99 hybred piece of crap that I spent 3 hours digging a hole for and an additional $30.00 in imported dirt trying to create a comfy bed to grow in.
Arghhh...I gotta go run up a bill with the water company and then go buy some chemicals that will cause the local tree huggers to dance around in my driveway screamimg obscenities at me.
Where is the Swamp Thing when you need him??

Winter Sports for Couch Potatos

Spelling Bees is the only one that comes to mind. But only if you can do it lying down. There are no TV watching olympic catagories as of my last check (Curling comes close).

Aw please get the stupid talking heads off the air

Watching CNN yesterday (Yeah, usually a waste of time).


But those idiots did something so stupid that I am compelled to comment.
They were talking about the semi-failed car bomb attempt.
These morons were telling the bomber all the things he/she did wrong and how to fix them.

"You need to mix fuel oil (not gasoline) and fertilizer directly together".
"Just having cans of gas on the front seat won't work".
"You need to use a blasting cap and detonator. For a bigger bang".
"Your wiring was amateurish. You need to neaten it up."

So I guess the next time with all the mistakes corrected this nutcase will be able to kill a few people and make a bigger headline for the news pronouncers on CNN??
They did however leave out one important point.

"You need to stand real close so your detonator signal is strong enough".